Why Comparing Spending in Relationships is a Major Red Flag
The Situation
"She compares what I spend on her to what her ex spent"
The Brutal Truth
She's using your spending to measure your value against her ex, which shows insecurity and a lack of appreciation for your unique contributions. This mindset indicates potential emotional unavailability and undermines the foundation of healthy love.
❌ What NOT to Do (Anxious Response)
An anxious person might overcompensate by spending more to prove their worth or persuade her of their value. This is misguided because it fosters dependency and ignores the core issue: her insecurity and need for comparison.
đź’ Something to Reflect On
How often do I find myself in relationships where I feel I have to compete for love and appreciation? What might it look like to prioritize partners who see my value without needing comparisons?
✨ What To Do Next
Every situation has nuance. What you see here is a general pattern, but your specific circumstances matter.
That's why personalized coaching is so powerful—we can dive deep into your story, understand the context, and create a plan that actually fits your life.
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