Why Punishing New Partners for Ex's Actions is Toxic
The Situation
"She punishes me for what her ex did"
The Brutal Truth
He's deflecting responsibility for your feelings onto your ex, masking his inability to deal with his own insecurities. This means he's not ready to build a healthy relationship and is using your past as a crutch.
❌ What NOT to Do (Anxious Response)
An anxious person might over-apologize, try to 'prove' their worth to him, or become overly accommodating to avoid conflict. These behaviors are wrong because they reinforce his toxic pattern and deny their own needs.
đź’ Something to Reflect On
How has your past shaped your expectations in relationships, and what healthy boundaries do you need to establish for your self-worth?
✨ What To Do Next
Every situation has nuance. What you see here is a general pattern, but your specific circumstances matter.
That's why personalized coaching is so powerful—we can dive deep into your story, understand the context, and create a plan that actually fits your life.
You don't have to figure this out alone. Let's work together to help you trust yourself, set boundaries, and attract the love you deserve.

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Understanding Red Flags: Venmo Payments from an Ex
This woman is hiding something significant. Those payments suggest unresolved feelings for her ex. If she can’t explain, she's likely still attached emotionally, which means she’s not fully available for a healthy relationship with you.
His Accusation of Faking Pain: What It Really Means
He’s projecting his own issues onto you. Calling your pain fake is an emotional manipulation tactic to dodge intimacy. It shifts blame away from him while invalidating your feelings, a huge red flag in any relationship.
